we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
