At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
