I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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