sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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