whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
