Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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