I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
