party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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