I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
