I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
