Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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