my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
