I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
