Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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