paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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