i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
