I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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