moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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