i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize