Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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