if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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