I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
