these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
