made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It's never too late to be topless.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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