dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
