Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Randomize