So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
