Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
