So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
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Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.