It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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