My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on