found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
