your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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