I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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