and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
COCAINE IS GR8
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
