He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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