Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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