dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
