Me. At least after what I've been through.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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