So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
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