I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize