o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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