Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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