We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
