so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
