They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
