So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
