it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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