if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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