She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
