I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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