I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
