Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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