I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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