If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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