yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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