Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
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Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
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Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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