69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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