im six kinds of drunk right now
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
