JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
