Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
the liver wants what the liver wants
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
