I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Randomize
