it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
