Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
