Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
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He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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