But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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