Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
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I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
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We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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